Live and Let Live

Breathe in and out, just as the tides rise and fall…just as the present becomes the past. At this moment, I see the full circle in my life…again. I know I am here at the start because of ignoring my inner voice, the guiding light to my destiny. I have felt her energy on many occasions, even creeping into my dreams giving me visions of life. Still, I am here back at the start. Only this time I sit in the dark silence of my solitude. My hearing aged by lies and empty promises, the voice is foreign to me now. My vision etched by the sting of tears, I cannot clearly see the light anymore. I just have pieces of memory stitched together to make the full story again.

I’m so over the “why me”, been there done that. I’ve been the girl putting all my hopes into the promises of a forever and next time. Now I ask myself what is forever, what does that mean in reality? Forever isn’t as limitless and void of pain as I once thought. Instead, it’s filled with many goodbyes and “see you later” that you know will never come true. It’s full of the good memories we choose to hold onto in spite of the pain. It’s the lessons learned along the way. For in the end, nothing lasts forever. It’s the beauty you must learn to see and accept to maintain healthy balance.

A very dear friend once told me she didn’t believe in forevers for any kind of love. Now, I understand in the physical sense, no one can live forever. Nevertheless, I believe in love so deep, so true, and so pure it penetrates the soul and finds itself in every lifetime. Call me a sucker, but I feel it. Even when no one is around, in my loneliest hour, love surrounds me and fills me. I always thought forevers were rare and romanticized them.  It was something you were reminded of and cherished at the recollection. The love of my grandmother, mother, sister, and friends will transcend time and be passed along until the end of time. I feel my ancestors, the passion, pride, and pain running through me. However, I have never felt this love with any romantic relationship. Not tangibly, I have felt their spirit come to me but it has always seemed a…dream.

“If you think things are not forever, it allows you to make the most of what you have when you have it…Assuming relationships are not forever, might make them last forever”. If you hear it from a Brazilian, better believe it. Imagine loving everyone and everything with the intensity as if this were the only moment. I cannot express how beautiful and fulfilling this expression and affirmation would be. I have seen and experienced so much from the emptiness of love that genuine love and affection cannot be matched. Unfortunately, so many will die never having been in presence of true love. Mainly because we lack the courage to cross over, we believe that it is better to stay in misery and live unhappy and unfulfilled lives together than to face the unhappiness we think we may feel apart.

It’s inevitable that you will be reminded of the past: the pain, the bad blood, the things you lost, the things you can’t get back, the good times, the good feelings, the good people it’s all there. Each time you are reminded, every time you feel do so and let it go. Your forvers exist in everything and everyone, nothing greater or less than before or after. What you do not learn will be repeated, what you do welcomes the next lesson from life.

Live and let live, enjoy the greatness of now.

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