With all of the focus I’ve seen circulating around romantic relationships…I can’t help but ask myself how healthy are we in any given relationship we have? Why are the relationships with significant others the peak of existence? Do we only strive to be loved and in company of lovers? The pressure of one relationship serving as the source for all your needs is unfair to burden one individual. Think of how hard it is to be everything to someone. You simply cannot do and be everything; you cannot fill every need and desire. Each of us is uniquely created to serve purpose in someone’s life; there are many roles to serve in this lifetime. There is a certain position for everyone and everything… one cannot substitute the other. Neither friend nor lover can replace or make up for any of my family’s love, neither my family nor friends can ignite the fire of a lover, neither a lover, family, or friend can replace the perfect love of God.
No, this is not a pass to all the cheaters seeking sexual pleasures from many partners; No this is not for all the people looking for something in everyone they meet. Relationship is paralleled to experiencing the many facets and extensions of you. Every relationship is designed to bring the best of you forward. Unfortunately, we do not deal with the thorn that is our human nature summed by our past, traumas, hurts, insecurities, shame, pride, ego and so much more that weighs down the better half. Instead, we often find ourselves in cycles of denial and stunting our growth by reducing our behaviors and coping mechanisms to who we are. There is so much more that we could be experiencing in this life, so much deeper our connections could be if we were willing to open up and allow ourselves to face our mirrors in people.
Take time, change the mantra of your relationships…start over and press the reset button. It’s okay to stop and change your direction. Relationships are not to be a juggling act, the right people will fit and flow with the direction of your life. One should not take away from the other, love adds and multiplies. Be present in the moments, as the years pass we progress and sometimes that means discovering that the old no longer serves us in our next phase of existence. But, you will never know if you’re always consuming and seeing the flaws from the outside. The one thing that connects all your relationships is you. If one or more are weak, breaking, damaged…what part of you is that relationship reflecting? Be authentic in what you feel and how you express it, listen deeper than your ears, and forgive yourself and others.
I’ll leave you with this: life guarantees so many hardships why do we make the one pure thing, love, another one? Always honor your true self, in the end you will be thankful you didn’t give up on you.