The Butterfly Effect

The beginning and ending are essential halves of the whole. There cannot only be a story filled with beginnings as there cannot be just one filled with endings. So, why do we spend so much time searching for new beginnings year after year? Why are so many living in fear of the ending? There was a time when people held within the knowledge that the responsibility of the course of life is up to you. Throughout your time here there has always been a divine course set for your life. However, you are gifted with ability to choose. This ability often outreaches our capacity to handle consequence, nevertheless each day this precious gift of choice is given. Every series of choices we make have impact. We often do not allow ourselves the time for recognition of what is going on around us or the responsibility we are charged with to stay focused on course. Nothing just happens; nothing just falls apart; nothing is just put together. You have been groomed and designed, combined with what you decided and inevitably ignored, have all done an inner work that has resulted in where you are now.

I often found myself fantasizing about what I wanted, both professionally and personally, and how I saw the scenario playing differently depending on what I was going through. I would make the smallest efforts towards what I saw repeated day after day. Yet, I would allow my energy to be drained in areas outside of my vision. Months would pass and the visions would start to creep back up in my thoughts, conversations, and dreams. I was consciously being reminded and called back to where I should be. Taking the responsibility of the risk required took time. It was a process and something I do not speak on lightly. I know firsthand the choices we make can plant seeds that turn into deep roots of regret and shame. The depths of the consequences are so deep it becomes impossible to separate yourself from the pain. We take on extra layers of identity and begin living lives filled with 40+ hour work weeks, overrun with stress and emptiness. There is an echo in the void that once housed what we hoped for, what used to bring us pleasures, and where we were living in purpose.

Depending on the individual, it may take more or less time to find yourself in the full circle moment. Sometimes things can become clouded by where you are or the people around you. Understanding the importance of community, a place in people where you find yourself supported and encouraged along the way. Do not go the journey alone, we were not designed to be alone. Face your pain, speak it to release it, get yourself held accountable to stay on your course. It takes a village to raise a child; it takes a community for healing.

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