February was the moth of reverence for my people in America. I took the time to reflect on the stories that made it to history and learned more about influential and exceptional African Americans. At the same time, I realized I am creating my own story. With each passing day, I am living what will be my history. I am making memories and leaving marks that live on past my existence.
Being Black in America is riddled with essentially the same strife as when Africans were forced into slavery. There tends to be two major classes of attitudes: those who are grateful and making the best of what is presented and those who demand to even the scales of justice. I tend to fall in the latter category. I demand acknowledgement of the long suffering and consequence of survival in the face of death, racisms, rape, humiliation, dehumanization… I demand restitution. Who really feels the depths of melanin more than my people? Who really hears our heart cry for equality in every land in every tongue? Who really cares that we have to choose for our children give up their lives or their minds…
I am also challenged to spend the month of march reflecting on the accomplishments of women. The double minority it is to be a Black woman, is not fully encompassed in many platforms. I can easily become overwhelmed and discouraged. Sometimes I have to ask myself “should I post this blog about that?” “Is anyone out there going to understand?” “Is my voice on this subject needed?” ABSOULUTELY!!!! I had to get myself out of my funk and focus on what I have the power to control. I focus on what I am faced with daily…building my family. Building up my loved ones and planting the seeds in them to know that they are someone and they are value. Even if it’s their value is seen only by me, even if their life just inspires me, that’s enough and they are more than enough.
Some days, I must give this encouragement to myself. I wake up filled with energy and excitement for what is ahead. I can be so full of promise and expectancy nothing can bring me down. I am reminded of this on the days I can’t seem to shake the sleepiness and get the day started. I try to hold on to this energy and promise for those days I dread before they arrive. I refuse to allow emotions, passions, and feelings to be the fuel for life. I have done so in the past believing that these were true and pure in nature. However, the results are a rollercoaster cycling of life. For a short while we are on a steady climb. Soon, we will hit a roll where things are going well but coming too fast. Then, comes the downfall. As suddenly as the plummet came, our feelings, emotions, and passions change. Consequently, our actions reflect that change. Now we are no longer living our history, we are living in moments dictated by the good and bad. You start to create time capsules that hold energy not meant to be resurrected but will erupt and repeat in our history as a legacy.
Learning to accept that life isn’t static; as much as the change can bring pain, it can bring waves of opportunity and love. Still, we are to remain who and what we were created to be. We were not meant to be carried by the wind otherwise we would be enabled to fly. Our stories may never become a part of history, nevertheless the essence of your life will live on. Let it be a spirit that will be released in the universe as an aid to promote life. So many from the past have set the foundation, a foundation that has supported so many generations. However, the foundation can only withstand a limited amount of abuse. There is a present need for re-presentation of humanity, strength, and love. There is a present need for a re-creation of a foundation that will support the future generations that are different than the old. They have additional challenges from society that need incorporation and representation.
Although there have been some advancements towards progress, there is a lot going on in society to circumvent and make ways for the same patterns of repetition that has made history, that has crept their ways into our minds, and into our families. The cycles have only taken us further down a dark hole. Of course the change we want to see begins within, but don’t forget to extend your roots to. Bring nourishment to others as well. It’s not about making history or herstory, is about making ourstory.